Losing Faith, please advise

[germancrownr_1989]

Good evening,

Given the nature of my post, I feel that I need some sort of inspirational guidance at this point. Henceforth, I have experienced setback after setback. As many sikhs know, growing up in a racist/ ignorant conservative town in America is burdensome; I've encountered every racial slur in the dictionary, and at many times these led to physical altercations. As I matured, I realized the only way I can overcome this racism is through performing well in school and continuing my education.

This past year, I sent out my applications to medical school, and was distraught by the rejection letter I received. My schoolwork has been slipping lately, for I feel as if my grades are slipping for some unexplainable reason. Everyone experiences setbacks in life, but what is it that pulls everyone up from the pits of despair? I've reached the point where depression, anxiety, and anger consume my existence -- and I simply want these negative emotions to dissipate. I do part, when I feel like this, but it simply elicits further negative emotions. I find it almost impossible to pray in times of such despair. I'm distraught over my peers, who are performing exceptionally and have achieved their goals, where as, I'm simply consumed with failure; despite putting in the effort. I've reached the point, where I've been knocked out so many times,that I can't even get back up. I feel as if, I'm cursed, and Wai-guru is merely using me as an example for everyone else. I'm pessimistic about the future and of my emotional stability.

[suji singh]

Germancrownr Ji ---

As I peruse your post I notice a mixture of emotions which are difficult to separate and analyse. When you live in Rome you need to accept the Roman culture. Prejudice based on race and religion is ubiquitous no matter where you live (I grew up with it in a village in Punjab).

Bluntly speaking, nobody is entitled to success! Failure stops us from venturing into areas where we lack talent and which may cause us grief in the long run. In order to find out your areas of strength, you have to accept failure along the way.

Control of depression, anxiety, anger, envy, and jealousy is in your control because your are the manufacturer of these commodities. You need to come to grips with your underlying hypotheses. Try to answer: What do I really want out of this life given to me as a gift by God? You need to consider this question as you move along. Try to answer it, here is my take on it.

Seek happiness avioiding anything that makes you unhappy (do not mortgage present happiness for future happiness). Work hard and let the chips fall where they may and be happy with the outcome! You will find your talents and realize your potential.

[Wayfarer]

germancrownr_1989 Ji,
Good evening/morning as I look at the time,
I won't quote you Gurbani as there are other on this site that may do a far better job than I at point you to the most relevant selections. I will talk to you from personal experience, if I may. I can empathize with what you are going through. Life can be hard from many angles and it is hard to know which way to turn. Sometimes quiting, hiding, or running away sounds among the least painful choices. (At this point I could give one of several allegories. One from a blacksmith, another from a stone mason, and yet another from a home builder. If you think they would help, pick one and I'll try not to make it too long. :) Otherwise...) Here is the thing. Life is often not as hard as the people in it make it. Most make life harder on others. Some on themselves. Ego plays the largest part of this. Those who would give you a hard time are insecure in who they are and as such lack the moral compass that a more self aware and enlightened person would possess. You have to understand your choices in the situation as well. You may choose to take their verbal, social and physical abuse to heart. That is the easiest thing to do. Our egos are there to protect us. They do this by giving us our earliest concepts of self and self preservation. (...another allegory, of a bird this time, popped up. I'll try to keep it in check.) You may choose to leave the situation. It is hard to blame you for that and it is a natural reaction as well. What you do and how you react is ultimately up to you but what I believe, what I truly believe with all my heart and what experience has taught me time and time again is that if you choose to make the right decision, whatever you deem that to be, you will be rewarded. (Please bear in mind I said the right decision not the easiest one.) Life tends to put you where you need to be. Sometimes it is for personal growth, sometimes it is to help others, but if you choose your path based on "what is the right/proper thing to do" then you need not have regret. Just try to remember that life has been made to be self correcting... if you do not let ego try to steer.
I hope this is of some help. Try to get good rest and take time for peaceful reflection.
Blessings, my friend. You are not alone.
Wayfarer

[gurpreetsingh2k]

Waheguru Ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh

Dear, do not loose faith in God, God will do everything correct. I suggest you to follow a simple thing which will make u feel good i.e. Take a piece of paper and start COUNTING YOUR BLESSINGS by writing on it.

Compare yourself to those who were born in poor families than you, who did not got anything to eat. No facilities, etc. Count everything that God has given to you. There is no price of ears, eyes, legs. Will you give your eye for $5000 to anyone. Not ofcourse. So, Thank God for all those things.

jan ko prabh sangae asanaehu |
saajano thoo meeth maeraa grihi thaerai sabh kaehu |1| rehaao |
maan maago thaan maago dhan lakhamee suth dhaeh |1|
mukath jugath bhugath pooran paramaanandh param nidhaan |
bhai bhaae bhagath nihaal naanak sadhaa sadhaa kurabaan |2|4|49|


Kaanraa, Fifth Mehl:
God's humble servant is in love with Him.
You are my Friend, my very best Friend; everything is in Your Home. ||1||Pause||
I beg for honor, I beg for strength; please bless me with wealth, property and children. ||1||
You are the Technology of liberation, the Way to worldly success, the Perfect Lord of Supreme Bliss, the Transcendent Treasure.
In the Fear of God and loving devotion, Nanak is exalted and enraptured, forever and ever a sacrifice to Him. ||2||4||49|| God be with u

[makhansinghengland]

Dear friend WJKWJF.

I can relate to the scenario described in your post. I had a massive turning point in my life but only after many years of pain,misery,and suffering. At times I wanted to abandon my nitnem and my daily attendances to the Gurdwara Sahib.

Perserverance does show rewards ultimately. Bhai Gurdas Ji states that if we take one step then guru Ji takes millions to embrace us. If one listens to the entire katha of SGGS by Takhur Singh Patiala a complete sense of ease and bliss will fill one's heart.

When one is born they have their challenges to confront. A person who does not conftont their challenges is considered a coward. Guru Ji fought many battles and endured many hardships but with the strength of naam they didn't lose.
The repeated reciting of Bani and naam simran not only destroys our pains and sorrows but also fortifies our inner strength. That is why Guru Ji comands us to perform nitnem on a daily basis.

Try keeping the company of satsangi people , i.e. those who are reading Bani and doing simran. Once you feel strong and confident enough then , by all means , you can associate with others. I hope you will forgive me for saying so but the wrong sort of company , at this stage of your spirituality , may be detremental.

Listen to Kirtan , paath , katha as much as you can. I normally lsten to my ipod for eighteen hours a day.


And most importantly remember that you are not alone. Always talk about your challenges to like minded people. Bottling emotions up can only make situations worse!

I am not sure how old you are but please consider me like your brother or friend. I wil do whatever you like to help you resolve your current downturn.

I am only a forum message away but if you wish you may contact me via email.


Just one final thought.........I am proud of my five k's and if people want to ridicule me then that does not bother me.

The only thing that bothers me is if I am disobeying SGGS in any way!


Name caling and ridicule by idiots is nothing since we are not Sikhs of these idiots! We are the proud Sikhs of Sri Guru Gobind Singh who endured the ultimate hardship in order that people call us sardars.

Whe you walk down the street hold your head up high. We have a culture and heritage that is unrivalled in the entire world! Idiotic people are jealous!

Our nitnem is our guardian , saviour , and sheild! I can give you a written guarantee that if you do daily nitnem Guru Ji will be with you at all tmes! But remember Guru ji will not accompany us to nightclubs or ther places banned by gurmat!



God bless.

WJKWJF.

Makhan Singh England.

[Theodorus]

germancrownr_1989 ji,

I realized the only way I can overcome this racism is through performing well in school and continuing my education.

That is indeed one way to do it but as you found out the hard way, you shouldn't put all your money on one card.
The fact that you are rejected for the medical school is indeed a setback. It doesn't mean you cannot apply again next year. You loose a year you say? Well that is true but what is a year in a lifetime? I lost two for being drafted into to army during my university studies and believe me I hated it too. But these kind of setbacks are not life threathening. You will not die or get hurt over it. You can use the extra year to get even better grades so they cannot overlook you in the next selection. You can also get more determined in what you want and out of that determination work and try harder. Show them what you are made of.

my grades are slipping for some unexplainable reason

the pits of despair? I've reached the point where depression, anxiety, and anger consume my existence

You compare yourself to peers that do better. It is fine to take them as an example but when ever I had a setback I try to look a people that do worse then me (and b elieve me there are usually more of those). So compared to them you may count your blessings and become happy again. As that is the key to your problem. You need to be happy with what you have and got so far. You can look back at all the hardship you've experienced as a Sikh but that is passed time. Dwelling on that is of no use. You better look at the future.

Wai-guru is merely using me as an example for everyone else.

If you think this is true you better try to be a good example........
I experienced that as soon as you can actually and truly thank Waheguru for your setbacks as well as for your blessings you can become more satified with yourself (and happy).

[PCJ2K]

Good evening,

Given the nature of my post, I feel that I need some sort of inspirational guidance at this point. Henceforth, I have experienced setback after setback. As many sikhs know, growing up in a racist/ ignorant conservative town in America is burdensome; I've encountered every racial slur in the dictionary, and at many times these led to physical altercations. As I matured, I realized the only way I can overcome this racism is through performing well in school and continuing my education.

This past year, I sent out my applications to medical school, and was distraught by the rejection letter I received. My schoolwork has been slipping lately, for I feel as if my grades are slipping for some unexplainable reason. Everyone experiences setbacks in life, but what is it that pulls everyone up from the pits of despair? I've reached the point where depression, anxiety, and anger consume my existence -- and I simply want these negative emotions to dissipate. I do part, when I feel like this, but it simply elicits further negative emotions. I find it almost impossible to pray in times of such despair. I'm distraught over my peers, who are performing exceptionally and have achieved their goals, where as, I'm simply consumed with failure; despite putting in the effort. I've reached the point, where I've been knocked out so many times,that I can't even get back up. I feel as if, I'm cursed, and Wai-guru is merely using me as an example for everyone else. I'm pessimistic about the future and of my emotional stability.

As far as going to medical school goes, you can probably try the Sikh medical college in Amritsar.

You are not cursed. At least you were able to apply for a medical school and there are people who have no chance at all and I am one of those who could never even dream of being a doctor but I feel I am blessed in life. It's not because I have way lot more than others. It's because I have enough, actually a little more than enough, where enough is just what I need or would like to have.

[5ikh]

What has worked for me in the past is writing everything down. That I am feeling in that moment. Everything that comes to mind write it down. All your thoughts doesn't matter what it is. Good or bad thoughts. Once your done. Read it over and contemplate over what you wrote.

Writers use this when they have a writers block.(they don't usually read it, but reading it helps figure out what was the problem.) It helps them think clearly and objectively. And when your depressed or feeling overwhelmed it helps to relax you. Instead of your head being filled with all these thoughts, now they are on the piece of paper or on your computer. Some have a journal where they write their daily thoughts which also helps to clear the mind. A clear mind is a relaxed mind.

Also doing Chaupai Sahib helps alot. Shut off the world and just do Chaupai Sahib and once done contemplate over what Guru Gobind Singh Sahib ji has said. You got a exam, quiz or some other important event coming up in life. Read Chaupai Sahib and then go do the task. You'll notice your cofidence and courage will be much higher. Here is a link for Chaupia Sahib, just in case you don't have a resource.

http://www.chaupaisahib.org/downloads/a ... ration.pdf

[germancrownr_1989]

Dear friends,

WJKWJF. Thank you for all your positive and uplifting responses. The inspirational guidance you all told me, has really helped lift me from this despair. For, I am 20 years old, I obviously have a lot to learn . But the guidance all of you have bestowed has struck a note with me spiritually. The thoughtful and intellectual responses are also much appreciated, I read through all -- and they clearly took some time, and I thank all of you for taking out the time to write these encouraging words. The responses I read has reiterated the goodness self-evident in humanity.

-angad

[dalbirk]

Dear Angad Singh Ji ,
I like to share with you my personal experience . I am doing business for the last 14 years & independently for last 11 years . I had a lot of sudden success in a certain line of my trade from 1999 to 2005 . It gradually started declining due to increased competition & perhaps due to lack of my clear vision for future . I started trying all sort of tricks to revive it but to no avail . I was an atheist some three years back visiting Gurudwara maybe once a year for social obligation on Guru Nanak Gurupurab . Suddenly someday I overheard some Giani ji doing Katha , I do not remember the topic or subject but I felt certain truth in his words . I slowly started trying listening to Gurbani wherever I could on TV , gradually reading books . Slowly I read Guru Granth Darpan by Prof Sahib Singh Ji . I became more & more aware of those realities which were unknown to me till then . I became more & more open with anyone , could strike a conversation with almost anybody anytime , my confidence improved a lot . Those whom I used to be very concious of or in awe of were no longer that way . I can put down the blueprint for success in following points :
1. Go to bed early avoid nightlife at all costs .
2. Get up early , try doing Nitnem as much as possible at least Japji Sahib try understanding Gurbani & practising in daily life .
3. Avoid unnecessary socialising , unnecessary gossip , maintain a close knit circle of three four friends .
4. Maintain daily schedule of works to be done , maintain checklist of pending jobs .
5. Try going to Gurudwara as much as possible or listening to Gurbani Katha on TV .
6. Avoid unnecessay TV .
7. Last but not least look to others for learning something but do not try to compare yourself with them , it will bring more misery & result in loss of confidence . Thank , remember Waheguru all the times of the day .